An experience I will not soon forget...

Dear friends,
 This is a very personal blog but I would like to share some thoughts with you.
I have a problem when it comes to the issue of death. This is something I worry and fret about consistently. Losing someone else I love, I just don't know that I would be able to handle it. I have to pray to Jesus daily, multiple times a day about this.

 On Thursday I went to my husband's, cousin's funeral. This is a man I've never had the privilege of meeting. I don't do well with death, anyone's. When Mitch told me,my first thought was, "was he a christian?". If I don't know directly that the person who had just passed away was a christian, I feel like I can't breathe until I know...but of course, I don't dare ask right away, in case they weren't. Some people may think it's rude to ask, but I have to find out..somehow. I have a very deep concern for other's salvation. If you're reading this blog and don't know Jesus, I would LOVE to share Him with you.

  Some of my thoughts, are to intimate and complex to share but I would like to share some of it with you. As I sit at this funeral watching, feeling like a spectator since I didn't know the man, I watched his family....feeling the hurt they must be going through..praying for some sort of peace and comfort for them. The mom and dad, who had lost a son previously and now another. No one should EVER have to lose a child. As I first hugged the mom and she stated she knew her son wasn't in the coffin but with Jesus, how proud I was of her and how more highly I thought of her....I think I would be so angry, that statement wouldn't soon come out of my mouth...even if I knew it too be true. As I watched them grieve for their son, I wondered how any parent could survive going through something like this. Makes me not want to have kids..the pain they must be feeling. BUT, also, the love I see in their eyes for their son, the thankfulness I can tell they have that they were blessed enough to know him and that he is now with JESUS. It's a two way emotion. I can't imagine being in that situation, watching parents who's child just died IF the situation had been different and they HADN'T been a christian.....can't even imagine and HOPE I never see it. Thank you Jesus for their great love for you and YOUR love they shared with their kids.

 I watch the wife, who now has to learn to live her daily life without her husband...with my dear sweet husband sitting beside me. I don't think I'd physically be able to stand up if I were her..how is she so strong..I know deep inside she probably isn't and I can see hurt in her eyes...but she greets everyone with a smile and hug. Is her comfort in knowing Rod is with Jesus? That must be the only thing giving her comfort. Even though I would know that fact, I still don't think I could handle it all.

  As I hold my husbands hand praying for this family and praying that I am blessed with a long life with Mitch, I can't help but feel sorrow and joy for this family....isn't that odd, sorrow and joy. You have to have joy knowing Rod is with Jesus though. Forgive my repetitiveness or ramblings, I think and write simultaneously. We bow our head for prayer and I hold my dear husbands hand...trying not to cry because they just sang "amazing grace", I whisper "I love you" to him..again, trying not to cry because I love him so deeply. The same thought keeps going through my head "how are these people able to make it through this"?. I keep coming up with the same answer. JESUS! That's the ONLY way. Still, I don't know if I could make it... I barely made it during my dad's memorial and it was more of "sharing the good news" than a funeral.
 (Which is how my dad would have wanted it anyway!)

 Maybe Jesus will give me some calmness about it as I think about this family and their experience.
I'll end with saying, I learned a lot about a man I never met and witness the love of Jesus within his life and death.
Goodbye Rod, I look forward to meeting you in Heaven one day....

My personal blog

Hello everyone,
I've never really been into blogging as I'm not an "open book" all the time BUT I think I will use this as a creative writing tool!  I love to write and express my feelings and opinions!.  It will be random, and sometimes I may tell you what happened in my week, sometimes it will be something I learned or what's on my heart that day, you just never know with me...so this isn't a blog about something specific, just about my thoughts! Maybe that's what most blogs are, don't know....just getting into the blogging thing!
Also, since I've made some lifestyle changes and am trying to learn more about living healthy, I will post some one my findings here.
See, reading my blog is good for you!
 You can expect to see a lot of what I hear on Dr. oz on here, LOVE HIM! 

For those of you that don't know, I am 35, a christian, married to the sweetest, most adorable man on the planet, Mitch (almost 2 years now) I try to make a diffrence in the word working with kids. Right now, I am a nanny to two precious little girls. I also nanny for a family I have known over 5 years, they are part of my family and I am blessed to be a part of theirs! They keep my days busy!! Oh and I am a photograph FANATIC!!  Pictures of friends, myself, the sky, ANYTHING!!


 I am a HUGH animal lover and can't watch animal cops without crying!!! I have my own "baby", the spoiled Pekingese - Sampson...you can except to hear a lot about him! He's an angel, most of the time! We live with my husbands grandfather and help take care of him. My husband is a pharmacy tech and computer-gamer, big time! When I'm not at work, I love to be with my friends and family, go to the park, write ( I am writing a series of children's books) and building my business:
 Gorgeous-Glamour Makeup Artistry.
 I also have "Sparkle parties" for little girls!
 http://www.gorgeous-glamour.com/

My life is interesting, sometimes crazy and fun! Jesus is my top priority along with my husband, and the love of my life, my twin Kellie...oh I cant forget her "baby" the spoiled Maltese - Tiger.

I love to help people and think we should all use the trials in our life's to serve Jesus ministering to others...what good is going through a problem and learning if you don't help others?!?!
 I have GREAT friends and look forward to meeting more!
 Hope my blog is interesting to you and hope I can help you, if even some small way.

- Kerrie D. Barker